In those last three years
After she fell—elbows deep as I was
In human diarrhea diapers and the
Funk of her, refusing even a dry
Bath—Fox News and Star Trek at 11
All day
We both were so afraid.
One toilet hadn’t run at all in several
Years, the other was so corroded with
Hard water deposits and yellow hard water
Stains that I had to push the paper down
By hand, and both bathroom sinks
Slowed to a trickle. My mother couldn’t bear
The fear of trying to walk again and falling
And I couldn’t bear the fear of her death or
Living with her like this much longer. Neither
One of us could bear the fear of calling the plumber.
She died two years ago. Fear, it turns out,
Is useless. There is no immobility still enough
For Death to assume she already collected.
We learn this the hard way.
We learn it more than once.
I called the plumber.
When I wash my hands after
Flushing either of the working toilets
I watch the water flow freely
The swirl imperceptible
And it’s a miracle.
-M. Ashley
I am starting a poetry podcast and would love to feature your work. Upcoming themes are: Family and Connection, Writing on Writing, and Death and Taxes: The Inevitable. Please send submissions to: MichelleReadsPoems@gmail.com. Together, I think we can build something great.









